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Women Don't Ask: The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiation--and Positive Strategies for Change

Women Don't Ask: The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiation--and Positive Strategies for ChangeAuthors: Linda Babcock, Sara Laschever
Publisher: Bantam
Category: Book

List Price: $15.00
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Seller: internationalbooks
Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars 29 reviews
Sales Rank: 50316

Media: Paperback
Pages: 272
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.7
Dimensions (in): 8.9 x 6 x 0.6

ISBN: 0553383876
Dewey Decimal Number: 658
EAN: 9780553383874
ASIN: 0553383876

Publication Date: February 27, 2007
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days

Also Available In:

  • Hardcover - Women Don't Ask
  • Kindle Edition - Women Don't Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide
  • Kindle Edition - Women Don't Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide
  • Hardcover - Women Don't Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide
  • Paperback - Women Don't Ask: Negotiation & The Gender Divide
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Editorial Reviews:

Amazon.com Review
Men ask for what they want twice as often as women do and initiate negotiation four times more, report economist Linda Babcock and writer Sara Laschever in the footnoted but engaging Women Don't Ask. With vivid research examples drawn from cradle, classroom and playground, the authors detail culture as the culprit in discouraging women from negotiating on their own behalf.

Men, socialized in a "scrappier paradigm," learn to pursue and energize their goals at work and home. The two key elements are control and recognizing opportunity. For example, girls, rewarded for hard work, learn to see control as outside of themselves while boys are urged to take charge. Boys are schooled to recognize opportunity and girls to choose safe targets.

Several chapters are focused on prescription; how women can decrease anxiety, anticipate roadblocks, plan counter-moves and resist conceding too much or too soon. The authors shine in their examination of culture and gender--and their optimism about how women can counter the culture. They falter whenever they adopt the "sexes-from-a-different-planet" fallacy. Most notably, in a chapter that details a "female approach" to negotiating. Overall, the authors have created a smart summary of research and used it to affirm every woman's urgent right to ask. --Barbara Mackoff

Product Description
Combining fascinating research with revealing commentary from hundreds of women, this groundbreaking book explores the personal and societal reasons women seldom ask for what they need, want, and deserve at home and at work–and shows how they can develop this crucial skill.

By neglecting to negotiate her starting salary for her first job, a woman may sacrifice over half a million dollars in earnings by the end of her career. Yet, as research reveals, men are four times more likely to ask for higher pay than are women with the same qualifications. From career promotions to help with child care, studies show time and again that women don’t ask–and frequently don’t even realize that they can. Women Don’t Ask offers real-life examples of the differences between the negotiating habits of men and women, and guides women in retooling their attitudes and approaches. Discover how to:

• Take the first step–choosing to negotiate at all
• Develop a comfortable, effective negotiation style
• Overcome fear, personal entitlement issues, and gender stereotypes



Customer Reviews:
Showing reviews 1-5 of 29



5 out of 5 stars Powerful!!   February 4, 2004
D. Raymond (Weld County Colorado)
22 out of 25 found this review helpful

I read this book in almost one sitting. It has compelling factual data and riveting anecdotes. But, unlike Backlash, by Susan Faludi, which was almost totally negative, the authors also look at women's strengths in negotiation, and give some ideas for how to put their ideas into action.

It's not a how-to-negotiate book; I've spent the last 23 years practicing corporate law, negotiating sophisticated legal transactions and running an in-house department. This book goes beyond "how to" into "why". Essential reading for any woman!



5 out of 5 stars Highly recommended   January 28, 2004
Kathy Elliott, co-author "The Old Girls' Network" (Charlestown, ma USA)
13 out of 15 found this review helpful

This book is incredibly well-researched and thoughtfully laid out. It builds its case beautifully with interesting examples, then backs it up with empirical research. And credit to the authors' writing styles, for they do not point fingers or whine about the way things are. And they never fall into a dry style of writing. The book flows nicely, and is easy to read.
Most importantly, they shine a light on issues women have in asking for what they deserve and by laying out their case in such a well-articulated fashion, they help provide answers that we can all act upon and move forward with.
The issues that the book explores impact women across all facets of their life -- from negotiating child care responsibilites to getting the recognition and compensation they deserve on the job. As a co-author of the business book "The Old Girls' Network", I see these issues in evidence in how women buiness owners also negotiate -- for contracts, for customers, in how they price their products and reticence about charging appropriately. So, I would say this book has broad appeal to stay at home moms, women in corporate life and for the large contingent of female entrepreneurs. It is a must-have addition to all of our reading lists, and one that should bring positive results.



5 out of 5 stars First Rate   October 24, 2003
John D. Baker (Scottsdale, AZ United States)
28 out of 36 found this review helpful

First Rate

Linda Babcock is the James Mellon Walton Professor of Economics at the H. John Heinz III School of Public Policy and Management of Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. She holds a Ph.D. in economics from the University of Wisconsin at Madison and is a well-published specialist in negotiation and dispute resolution.

Sara Laschever is a prolific writer and editor with extensive experience in gender research. Ms. Laschever was a research associate and principal interviewer for Project Access, a Harvard University study of the effect of gender on the advancement of women in science. She holds a Master's degree from Boston University.

Women Don't Ask is a work with multiple interwoven themes. At its core, it is an important study of gender differences in negotiations. It is also a handbook for women offering concrete advice on how to improve their performance in negotiations.

Still further, it is a book about possibilities. Centering on traditional areas of women's strengths in sharing information and building and preserving relationships, it concludes that women are potentially in a position to use these qualities with great effect in collaborative negotiating environments. Gender differences, therefore, include both hurdles to be overcome and promises for enhanced performance for women in negotiations.

Lastly, the reader will find the book presents a compelling case for the necessity of participation and skill in negotiations as an increasingly critical survival mechanism for both women and men in contemporary life. Although focusing primarily on women, the authors present an array of general statistics defining an environment in which all workers need to bargain repeatedly with a succession of employers for salaries and benefits.

The central thesis of this book is that the enhancement of negotiating performance is essential to improving the quality of life for women. The corollary message for those many men who do not negotiate well is equally clear. Negotiation is a critical skill for both sexes. This work, of course, is focused on enhancing women's skills.

Why don't women negotiate well, because they do not ask, the authors assert. Using multiple studies and over 100 interviews with women and men in the U.S., Britain and Europe, the authors draw a portrait of gender differences in negotiations.

A study of starting salaries received by recently graduating students at Carnegie Mellon University is central to the authors' conclusions. Starting salaries reported by the students showed that women received starting salaries averaging $4,000 below their male peers. Why?

Fifty-seven percent of the men negotiated their employment package vs. only seven percent of the women. This book explores the significant economic impacts of the decision by some graduates to negotiate vs. the decision of others not to negotiate at all. The results for those who negotiated, both women and men, produced an average gain of over $4,000 per year in starting salary, almost precisely the gender pay gap reported by the group itself. The conclusion, of course, is that the gender difference in rates of initiation of salary negotiations is directly correlated to the gap.

A variety of other research studies back up this assumption. The authors cite a study showing that men are two to three times as likely to initiate negotiations as women (p.3). Another study reports that twenty percent of women executives stated that they never negotiate at all (p. 113). Clearly, as the authors point out, the most important negotiating tactic is "choosing to negotiate at all (p.6).

Since this is a book about women and negotiating, the authors move forward to explore why the socialization of women leads to an avoidance of negotiations or poorer performance when they participate in negotiations. For those forty-three percent of male Carnegie Mellon graduates who also did not negotiate their starting salaries, there is a clear and equally important warning, but their answer is not the subject of this book.

"Women set lower targets and settle for less in their negotiations because they lack confidence in their ability to negotiate effectively," the authors tell us (p.140). The reasons for this gender difference are clearly spelled out in the book. It will be a revelation for many men, perhaps most, but my own informal sample of women found that many of them know most of the reasons already. What they do not know is how to change it.

Of particular interest, therefore, is the remedy Babcock and Laschever propose for this situation. The answer for improving the performance of women in negotiations, the authors assert, lies in self-management training. "... Increasing women's feelings of control over the negotiation process eliminated the gender gap in performance" (p.114).

Readers will find an interesting and persuasive exploration of this research carefully linking to their earlier work. You will, of course, need to read the book to see why they believe this is so.

The authors conclude with a statement of belief that, freed from anxiety and other social scriptures that are present barriers, women can achieve extraordinary success as negotiators by capitalizing on their other gender based qualities. Women are listeners, sharers and relationship builders and these gender-based factors, the authors assert, position them for leadership in the new collaborative negotiations thrust, the authors assert.

There is much more here than this review can explore, including a chapter on negotiating at home as well as in the work place.

It is a well-researched, carefully analyzed and interesting book that is certain to be widely read, discussed and debated throughout the organizational world and is, therefore, a "must read" both women and men.

Highly recommended.

John D. Baker, Ph.D.
Editor, The Negotiator Magazine


5 out of 5 stars Highly Recommended!   March 1, 2004
Rolf Dobelli (Switzerland)
25 out of 32 found this review helpful

The debate on gender equity often emphasizes that women earn less than men with similar experience. Authors Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever say that while women may indeed be the victims of external forces, they also to some extent may suffer from their own inability, unwillingness or aversion to negotiate or make demands. In fact, men negotiate four times as frequently as women, and get better results. Men are much more apt to make demands and ask for benefits, pay increases and so forth. Men make more money not necessarily because the system is overtly discriminatory - though it well may be - but because men demand more. The book tends to belabor its point, and sometimes the evidence does not seem as well-presented as it might have been, but We found that it sheds useful light on a knotty social problem. Perhaps it will spur more women to fight - or to continue to fight - on their own behalf.


5 out of 5 stars Should be required reading for women before interviewing   January 9, 2007
Oafie (Chicago, IL)
6 out of 7 found this review helpful

This book is full of eye-opening thoughts that I found so crucial to my own sense of empowerment as I faced post-graduate school job negotiation opportunities. There are so many things I would never have thought of as options to set on the negotiating table, not to mention so many things about how I behave, what my expectations are for myself, and how they differ from those of a typical male perspective. Even though I am educated in a human social science field and consider myself a liberal woman, I had A LOT to learn from this book. I liked the mix of examples of diverse individual women's experiences along with data from the authors' and others' relevant studies.

Showing reviews 1-5 of 29



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